The Impact of exclusion: Reflections on Bullying, Disability, and the Need for Safe Spaces

Today’s guest post is by Medha Prakash, a social worker with her masters from Tata Institute of Social Sciences. She works with children with disabilities at Ummeed Child Development Centre, Mumbai and wishes to create a more inclusive environment in schools.

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In our early childhood, most adults teach their children to, “Stop crying, you’re not that weak”. Crying could be a way of the child’s way to express their feelings.

Even as adults, having/expressing feelings is not considered as “cool”. Most of us as adults just think expressing our feelings could lead to bigger issues and not talking about our feelings because as children we were taught that we are just overthinking everything” and that life is not that bad, maybe we don’t realise that for someone might just need that outlet or safe space to talk about it.

In childhood and teenage years the main target is to be included in the “group”. The way of socialisation is conforming to the group, this could be distressing for someone, who the group could see as ‘unlike them’ or as an outsider. When that group itself becomes the problem just because they don’t understand that the person is a little different from them but at the same time is a human who deserves to be treated right.

 As children, at times, we don’t understand the importance of how something could affect someone for life and not expressing those emotions could lead to long term issues as well. In such a situation if the person could express their emotions to someone who could just be a support in terms of how to deal with those emotions and further expressing them.

In cases of children with visible disability (in terms of the assistive aid), this could become a problem in terms of the said group considering them ‘different and non-confirming’. Inclusion and accepting the person as they are is not something that is taught in our country at a younger age, where bullying and name calling becomes a way of the dominant group expressing this upon the person “different than them”. The child being bullied doesn’t usually know about it or know exactly how to express it to and adult.

An example from the writer’s life sheds light on the profound impact that bullying and a lack of inclusion can have on a child with a disability. For much of their life, they carried the belief that something was inherently wrong with them. This mindset, coupled with the name-calling and bullying they endured, led them to accept mistreatment as a norm rather than seeking support. The inability to reach out or talk about these experiences made it even more challenging to process the emotional toll.

Reflecting on this experience, the writer suggests two ways the situation could have been handled differently. First, if teachers had been made aware of the bullying, they could have intervened and created a safer environment for the writer to express their emotions. Providing a space where children feel supported to talk about their feelings is crucial in addressing such issues.

Second, the school could have taken a more sensitive and inclusive approach to supporting children with disabilities. By fostering an environment of empathy and understanding, schools can help prevent bullying and ensure that all children feel valued and respected. These proactive measures could have made a significant difference in how the writer navigated and overcame these challenges.

Further after growing up the writer started to read and research about this and realised that there are some of the ways in which this could be dealt with like the school in itself being accommodating along with having sensitization sessions with the teachers as well as the students. At that time most of these things were not known or were not given that much of importance.

If children are given the safe space they end up sharing a lot they will learn to communicate a lot about their lives at a very young age and further makes adulthood a little easier.

This post is a part of “International Day of Persons with Disability” blog hop hosted by Sakshi Varma – Tripleamommy. #IDPD2024Bloghop. Access all posts of this bloghop at https://tripleamommy.com/2024/12/02/beyond-barriers-amplifying-voices-for-inclusion-marking-idpd-2024/

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24 comments

  1. The post is so insightful and raises proper awareness about exclusion, a very common form of unacceptance. I am glad that my daughter’s school has the policy to include some children with special needs. If more schools follow these footsteps, it would be a much better society.

  2. Bullying and name calling impacts children in various ways. If the child is an introvert, he goes deeper into the shell, those who are outspoken find ways to deal with it. Whatever said and done, children have to taught that bullying and being a target of bullying are both not acceptable and this is the responsibility of every parent. Schools should also educate children on inclusiveness. Your post has good pointers and relevant tips.

  3. It’s the need of the hour to talk about these issues. The more we talk about such issues the more likely are we to see a change. Great points for a transformation of society.

  4. I used to work in a school with children who had learning disabilities. They usually would have transferred from a “normal” school to this “special” school to help finish their education. Just that distinction would play havoc on their confidence. But on the flip side, being considered for a school dance or the position of a head boy/girl was a confidence booster. It’s always easy to label people but difficult to do better. I hope as adults we can do better.

  5. Bullying can have serious and sometimes dangerous consequences, affecting both neurotypical and special needs children alike. As a society, it is crucial to recognize the fine line between harmless teasing and harmful bullying. Children should be sensitized to the impact of their words and actions, both at home and in schools

  6. Bullying can have serious and sometimes dangerous consequences, affecting both neurotypical and special needs children alike. As a society, it is crucial to recognize the fine line between harmless teasing and harmful bullying. Children should be sensitized to the impact of their words and actions, both at home and in schools.

  7. Thank you for sharing this insightful article about Bullying in schools and the effect it can have on a child more so one with a disability.Every school has just one counsellor and I see even they are burdened with academic work etc and not really doing the job they are supposed to do.Schools and prisons are two places where true reforms can take place if we can ensure a safe environment for the person in the institution.

  8. I was a bully sometimes when I was a child. It is only when you yourself are excluded that you can feel the pain of the person being bullied. I learnt my lesson, and found many more in your post. Thank you for sharing and reminding me I have yet to overcome the guilt of childhood bullying…your post is healing and cathartic, in many ways.

  9. This post underscores the need for empathy and inclusion in schools.Children can often be the harshest bullies instead of supporters. This behaviour stems from a lack of empathy and understanding, which can be addressed by teaching compassion and kindness. If children are taught to support, not judge, they can create an inclusive environment where everyone feels accepted.

  10. Lack of confidence leads to bullying. It’s the inability to cater to a larger perspective. I feel, as a society we need to be sensitised from an early stage on many of the points, such as bullying, people with different challenges and be more disciplined in this.

  11. While bullying has been more rampant nowadays than ever, one way for us to help is to raise children who have more understanding on those fellow children they are with who isn’t given the same opportunities as they are. Showing empathy and kindness to them is one way they could help them cope and make them feel that they are in a safe place.

  12. Your post deeply moved me, especially the way you highlighted the emotional impact of bullying on children with disabilities. I completely agree that providing a safe space for expression and fostering inclusion is essential for mental well-being. The personal example you shared shows the profound effects exclusion can have, and I admire your efforts to advocate for a more empathetic approach in schools. It’s a heartfelt reminder of how much we need to care for one another. Thank you for sharing these crucial insights.

  13. Children can be cruel if not sensitised. But if taught well, they can be great allies for inclusion of children with disabilities. I remember as a young kid in school with thick glasses, I was often ridiculed and othered by my peers. Some would even go to the extent of hiding my glasses and then laugh at me when I bumped into things because of the inability to see things. Teachers can play a crucial part in such cases, for early intervention and stop bullying or exclusion at that age.

  14. Medha, thanks for bringing up this very relevant topic…I couldn’t agree more that if we can enable safe environment for kids to communicate openly it can surely help handle the these kinds of situations more effectively.

  15. It’s heart-wrenching to think about the impact that exclusion and bullying can have on children, especially those with disabilities. I deeply relate to your insights about how expressing emotions is often discouraged, even as adults, and how that can create long-term challenges.

    Many of us, including myself, have experienced the pain of being excluded or made to feel ‘different’ in school. It’s clear that creating safe spaces—where children feel free to express themselves without fear—is essential for building confidence and resilience.

    Schools need to play a more active role in fostering empathy and inclusivity, not just through policies, but by creating genuine, supportive environments where every child feels seen and valued.

  16. Bullying in any form is not tolerated. Not only children but also adults undergo bullying. You brought a understated issue that needs much deliberations. May this blog do the needful.

  17. Thank you for talking about this issue. It’s high time schools start being inclusive so that children will also learn to treat their peers equal.

  18. Thank you for sharing such an insightful and heartfelt reflection. The journey from childhood to adulthood is deeply shaped by how we’re taught to process emotions and navigate social dynamics. Your emphasis on fostering inclusive environments and safe spaces for emotional expression is a vital reminder. Schools, families, and communities must work together to instill empathy and acceptance from an early age—empowering every child to feel seen, heard, and valued. Let’s champion these conversations and create a culture where expressing emotions is recognized as strength, not weakness.

  19. Bullying and labelling a child creates trauma in childhood which gets carried through later phases of life..emotions of children need to be acknowledged..very well explained

  20. Childhood trauma stays for so long. It is really important to create environments where kids feel safe, included, and understood.

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