Hey Arnav!
Happy 14th Birthday! I can’t believe I am writing this to you instead of saying this in person along with a big hug. But such is life!
What is even more unbelievable is that my (self-produced) little ball of fluff is now a strapping young lad of 14, who surpassed my height quite a few years ago and is now about to surpass his dad’s. I don’t know whether to laugh or cringe every time you call me ‘shorty’! But the heart does swell with love each time!
I know you keep trying to make me admit that you are the most loved amongst your brothers – but you also know that’s not true!! But yes, a first born, always has a special place, because you are the one with whom, we started our journey of parenthood 😊 You are the first one to grow inside me, the first one I cradled and nurtured.
You know what I like best about you? You have always been a content child – at peace with yourself. Never a tantrum from you, never crossing a line. You have always adjusted so well to any situation – a travelling mom, moving multiple schools and countries and always in a happy place. I know it must not have been easy, but you did it and without any complaints.
I never realized when you became my companion. Thank you for deciding to move in with me when I first moved to Almaty! I know in the two years prior, I had become very involved with the twins, so when we lived together in Almaty, I got a chance to bond with you again. I think I have some of my happiest memories from those days. Weekend outings, weekend grocery shopping, making Lego together, TV binging. Moving from 7+ shows to all kinds of stuff!!!
And you know, I was deeply touched when you told me last December that you chose to move, because you wanted to spend more time with me. I suppose it shouldn’t have been so surprising, but still, to hear you say it, it meant a lot. Thank you.
And it has been such a joy to see you growing up – we observed with delight when you started taking interest in the piles of books we had bought for you, how you turned into a voracious reader soon after and how now, a lot of what you read or say, is beyond our understanding! My ‘professional history nerd’, I feel so proud when you say, “wait mumma I will just tell you the entire history of the middle east region” or when the Russian war on Ukraine began (you were 12 then), you were the one who explained the dynamics from years ago. Your mature understanding of history and the present world conflicts astounds me!
I don’t know how much credit your dad and I can take (though we would love to), but I think it is mostly you. I am also amazed at how little you want. Like I said above – content. Cut to recent conversations:
You: “I broke my slippers”
Dad: “Buy new ones”
You: “I will try to fix them”
x-x-x-x
You: “I am going out to meet my friends”
Mum: “okay, take this money”
You: “This is too much, I don’t need it”
And now you are away from us. A hard decision, but you adapted so beautifully. We have told you so, so many times, how much we miss you, and am saying it once more. Have looked through pictures of all your previous birthday parties. Your dad used to laugh at me for my obsession with your theme parties. But I think we all enjoyed them. Including your dad 😊
Well, have said lots of good things and now time for a little lecture. The first year of your teens has gone by, and you are also gearing up for grade ten. It is difficult for us, not being there to make sure that you are studying well and doing your best – it is difficult not be to able to keep an eye!! But for you, it is also an opportunity for immense learning – self management. Because ultimately, we all need to learn how to manage ourselves, how to ensure that we are doing the best we can. I think it is better that you don’t have parents to nag you, but your responsibility is greater.
You have immense potential – a great brain, analytical mind and you are emotionally strong. You just need to learn how to harness this potential now. This year will be very important for you, when you start getting a sense of what you want to do with your life. Our job as parents is to ensure that you have all the tools you will need to navigate life – but ultimately you will be sailing your own ship.
We will be behind you. Always. Treat us as your sounding board, the shoulder to cry on, someone to vent to, someone to hug. (by the way, I loved the bear hug you gave me when you came to Almaty for vacation!)
Whatever age you are – 14, 21, 35, 45 – we will be there for you with a hug and a smile, till we are alive. Loads and loads and loads of love! Happy 14th!
P.S. I found writing this note unbelievably hard. There was so much to write, and I kept writing and deleting! And I am sure this one has also come out a bit disjointed, given my mind and memories were scattered all over! Love you!
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This blog post is part of the blog challenge ‘Blogaberry Dazzle’ hosted by Cindy D’Silva and Noor Anand Chawla in collaboration with Bohemian Bibliophile.
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Regards, Sakshi aka tripleamommy
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