… of Friends and Friendships, the Bonds of a Lifetime…

As Arnav and I browsed through the various friendship bands for his friends, I was taken back in time, when I did the same with much excitement. I remembered how the larger part of our day was spent with friends. A luxury we lose as we grow up. With a hectic work life and weekends devoted to household chores, unfortunately friends and friendship seem to have taken a backseat.

But this friendship day seems to have come to me with a message. This morning I was pleasantly surprised to receive a friendship day message from a friend who managed to dig out a picture and a card I gave him years ago! Yesterday we spent a nice evening with some close friends catching up on our lives, sharing our stresses and just relaxing. We must have met after many months – this, despite the fact that we perhaps live within 10 kilometers of each other – which is considered close in a city like Delhi.

From being someone who loved to make friends, as many as possible (I was never able to decide who not to invite for my birthdays!), chatted long hours on the phone, had day spends and night outs with them, I am now a person whose interactions with the outside world are mainly dependent on Whatsapp and Facebook. Real conversations with friends are far and few between. And I am not alone in this. I know most of us are stuck between the home and the office. And those of us who are not – are lucky. Or maybe that’s being unfair to them. They are not lucky – they have made the conscious choice to make time for their friends and reach out.

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But friendship is evergreen. No matter how much the distance or years between buddies, friendship always blossoms when friends meet. Our hearts do not know how old our bodies may have become, they instantly connect as the little children or teenagers we were when we met. A few months ago I met one of my school friends at her apartment and it was as if we had never been apart. The laughter flew as easily as it did in our classroom and after catching up we relished some of our school memories together. She and I spent a good part of our classroom time exploding into laughter or just doodling messages to each other. We did just that (except the doodling) when we met.

Or the time I met a college friend recently when I visited her city, nothing seemed to have changed since we last met. Or whenever I meet my best friend from school, our conversation always goes back to how we used to tease my husband (also a school friend!) and how the three of us had spent so much fun time together.

Like wine, friendship becomes better with age. I see that when I see my mum and her best friend together. They have been with each other through all stages of life and while their conversations have changed – from boys to husbands to children and grandchildren, their friendship has not. Recently mum was in Bombay for a month and she and her friend met almost everyday – except the last few days. It tickled my sister and I no end, when they both lamented about the days they couldn’t meet and how their conversations were still unfinished!

Last year when we went to the U.S. my mum met her school friend after more than 40 years! She brought along with her pictures of them together and those few hours were really precious. They had lost contact years ago and I remember that for years my mother had tried to trace her without luck. And apparently she had been trying to do the same. Social media finally came to the rescue when she managed to find her through Facebook!

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Talking about social media, I think it has played a very important role in bringing lost friends together. When I first joined Orkut (That’s what it was right?!), my biggest excitement was finding long lost friends from school and college! When my parents moved to Delhi, my dad was delighted to have traced many of his school and college friends through Facebook and they maintained contact through their Whatsapp groups, planning meet ups and excursions. Thanks to that we were able to gather a good number of his friends from school and college for his 70th birthday.

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But friendship is not limited to friends. It is a bond that transcends all relationships. Our family shared a strong bond of friendship – our parents were our confidantes, our friends. They were the first people, my sister and I went to in times of need. There were no secrets between us. They were always there to guide and never to judge. My sister and I were very close – she was the one I opened up to – no one else was privy to my deepest thoughts.

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And then there are cousins – they are the friends with all the insider info! The special bond that comes from sharing the genes and being scolded by two mothers at the same time cannot be compared with any other! I absolutely adored my cousins and desperately waited for holidays so I could go meet them. My classmates got tired of hearing about them as holidays came near! And as I was falling in love, it was my cousin who was privy to my innermost feelings and who got to hear all about the last time I met HIM!

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Many of you may know, that I married a school friend and I think we share a strong bond and mutual respect because of the years of friendship that preceded the romance. My sister also married a close friend of mine – and now the four of us share a bond that preceded our marriages. There will not be too many brothers-in-law who share such a strong relationship as these two do.

I feel very lucky to have found strong friendships at all stages of my life. And now as I grow older, I want to make sure they all continue to be with me. I know I have been busy and have not managed to keep up with all of them, but I promise to try more. And maybe so should you 🙂

Happy Friendship Day to you and call me when you can!!

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59 comments

  1. As usual loved reading the blog!! Very beautifully put – concise yet thought-provoking!!
    We, human beings, being a social animal, friendship I believe is kind of necessity, and helps to serve a very important emotional need. Friends help us to validate, keep perspectives, motivate and thereby unconsciously steer our mind in a positive direction!!

  2. Your thoughts are so pioneering it remain in mind & heart for long & give u groundbreaking for life

  3. Very nice and true experience u share with us in this blog shows true friendship experience of Uncle and Aunty

  4. Aww, what sweet memories and relationships you have. I always thought it neat that some marry their high school sweetheart. Relationships online can be very distant but yes, brings so many together. Because of my husband having an online journal we became friends and then marriage. You are so blessed with close family and long time friends. With being married and children it does keep us from others but social media is helpful. Thank you for sharing – I really enjoy getting to know more about your culture.

  5. Friendships are very important. It can be hard to keep friendships with all the business throughout each day. So glad you have that closeness and you can share it with everyone.

  6. My best friend from Kindergarten and I had a disagreement in our 20s and got lost to each other. We found each other again via social media and mended our broken ties. Enjoy your thoughts and reflections.

  7. I agree completely! True friendships grow and change and mold to life’s phases but they are always there! I have learned this so much since I move often!

  8. Wow I loved the part about your mom reuniting with an old friend! Friendship really is important in so many ways, and its good to remember to drop the screens and reach out organically from time to time.

  9. Aw, happy belated friendship day! Friendships are so important, and you’re right, marrying a friend is the way to go! My husband and I were friends for years before we got married and our relationship gets stronger every day ❤️

  10. This is so amazing. I love the bond that you have with your friends and family. It’s absolutely adorable. You have such great pictures that show the love too. Thank you so much for sharing this amazing bond with us 😀

  11. Some bonds are stronger than we give them credit off. Friendship being one. I got few friends with whom I can gel timelessly and still feel it was just yesterday we spoke.

  12. You really have sweet memories and folks surrounded by you. Friends are very important in life, i totally loved reading your post. Love the way you have selected words. Thanks for sharing this refreshing read.

  13. What a lovely post on friendship and I love how you’ve openly shared your thoughts.. And it’s so wonderful that you married your school friend, and have a lovely bond..

  14. Ah I really loved the post ..can relate so many things …trust me I loved your dad’s birthday pic …he really lucky to have friends like these and so you !!

  15. It’s a pleasure to see all the generations friendship goals in the same post. Loved the memories in the form of pictures. Belated Happy Friendship Day.

  16. This is such a warm post that celebrates friendship in a beautiful way. It’s great to meet up with old friends and feel like nothing’s changed.

  17. This post made me nostalgic and reminded me of my friends and it feels like it was some other life that we were together and now it is all apart and with some there is a strange boundary..

  18. What a beautiful post and lovely pictures.. I am thinking how glad your mom would have felt after meeting her friend after so many years.. really this social media is a boon in many ways

  19. so true, friendship is a lovely bond and evern after visiting a friend 10 years later, i still feel the same with them. And yes social media plays an important part in keeping us together

  20. After I moved to USA , our friends are our second family. I have been very blessed to have wonderful friends who are always there to hear me out. With time, we become more wise in choosing our friends but the essence of friendship should always remain the same.

  21. Loved this post. indeed friendship is one of the most beautiful relationship in life. friends work like support system and always ready to help us in any tough situations. agree, due to social media we are able to re connect with many old childhood and college friends.

  22. Loved reading this post. At some level I too can relate to it. Friendship indeed is a lovely bond, as reflected in your blog.

  23. Friendship and to be precise true friendship is always special. I believe true friendship happens in school days the most as we become friends without knowing ABCD of life. Its so pure. True Friends do come when we age with time and they are rare and special too

  24. Friendship is a ship that you choose for yourself, right and so it is priceless. Alas we dont see such pure friendships anymore. My dad just had a reunion with his collegemates.

  25. This is very true and very nice information. Friends are very important. Friends share to help bff. I am glad you shared that of Friends and Friendships and the Bonds of a Lifetime. I really liked it. Thanks for sharing😃👍

  26. Such a nice read. So beautifully written. Friendship is a bond that lasts forever. Happy friendship day👍

  27. That’s such a sweet post, and you are lucky to marry your friend from school. Relationships are strong if friendship is strong in them. Your school pic made me nostalgic and so good to see your dad’s gang. Well said, when orkut came it was a beautiful feeling to find long lost friends and then Facebook helped us stay connected even if we are far from each other. Happy friendship day to you.

  28. Friendship is as good as wine with time it grows stronger. The best is that they never judge you and catching up with friends with cherished memories is always a beautiful experience.

  29. I felt so nostalgic reading this post as even I have slowly started to get in touch with my childhood friends via social media. It gives me such great pleasure to see how the lives have changed for all of us in so many years. Friendship is indeed one of the most valued possession in my life.

  30. Friendship is the most wonderful relationship one can have. Your can share your heart out and can just be yourself. Your post has touched my heart as you have shared some special moment which are priceless.

  31. Friends are life’s little treasures.I married a friend too.Loved reading about your friends and your memories with them.Great reading I must say.

  32. I think making friends is all about how you can handle it. I’ve had many friends in the past who just find it easier to stop responding to people though they may reply once a while. Life makes it hard to keep in touch. Don’t blame them. But love your post.

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