It’s been five days since I saw Adolescence and it is lodged in my mind, lingering in its corners – shifting, stirring, sometimes demanding attention, sometimes settling into the background, but never quite leaving. The hard-hitting introduction to a reality I did not know existed has left me in a spin. The technical brilliance of the show has as much to do with the impact it has left on its viewers as its message.
Fifteen minutes into the first episode and my mum and I were already feeling tense and breathless – which is when I realized that it had been the same single shot, since the beginning. (I had not read any reviews of the show till then and did not know that each episode was done in a single shot.) The one-take episodes created an intense, immersive experience, pulling us into the raw emotions of each character. It is literally like pure, unedited life unfolding right in front of us – and there is no escape, no filter.
The second episode plunged into the deeper tensions of teen life, the camera capturing moments of high school life weaving from classroom to cafeteria to school corridors. But it was the moment when Adam exposed just how clueless his dad really was that felt like a fault line cracking open. It was a stark wake-up call—there’s an entire world teens navigate, one we hardly scratch the surface of. When seemingly harmless emojis could mean something so different than what they appear to – how much happens beneath the surface, in a language we barely understand. I had to rewind a couple of times to understand what Adam was trying to tell his dad.
The third episode—a true display of acting brilliance —sees Jamie embody the full spectrum of teen emotions, shifting effortlessly from charming and playful to sharp-witted and, at times, completely untethered in rage. The suppressed rage and sense of shame he carried simmered just beneath the surface, exploding in moments both raw and heartbreaking—proof of the emotional turmoil teens often mask behind indifference or defiance. Watching him unravel, I couldn’t help but wonder—how much of this do my own boys hold inside, hidden behind casual shrugs and quiet moments?
After the relentlessness of episode 3, the fourth episode seemed tame, even slow to begin with. And then before you realise you are caught up in the self -reflection of Jamie’s parents. “Where did we go wrong….” their guilt, shame, regrets and unspoken fears. The last scene is absolutely heartbreaking and I am sure no parent would be left dry eyed.
Why has the show shaken everyone?
Because it mirrors all of our lives in one way or another. Jamie could be any one of our sons. He is not the typical ‘bad boy’ as shown in movies – not a rich brat, no dark past, not the product of a broken home, no abuse. He comes from a simple home, with loving parents.
Watching his parents question their choices, wondering where they went wrong, or simply trying to understand the silent distance between them and their children, I couldn’t help but reflect on my own parenting.
Boys are easier to raise than girls. Really?
When my twins were born and I was a bit disappointed about not having any girl, many people told me that I should be happy because it is easier to raise boys. And with me being a working, travelling momma, I could do well without the stress of raising a girl and being worried about her safety and security.
But I was never convinced. I always felt, it is a bigger job to raise ‘good’ boys. The patriarchal world we live in, is not kind to boys either – and while in the circles we live in, parents have started raising strong independent girls, there is still so much left to do when it comes to raising strong, sensitive boys—boys who are kind, emotionally aware, and unafraid to challenge outdated norms.
How can I do better as a parent?
I decided to ask my eldest. We share a good relationship, and I am proud of the way he is turning out to be, but I know I can do better. His advice to parents, “TALK TO THE KIDS” (yes, half his chat is in caps!! facepalm). When I told him, it is not always easy, considering how they shut us out (first year of his boarding …. Soooper tough to have a proper phone conversation with him… next year became better), his response was, “FIGURE IT OUT!” and then more kindly he added that all kids are different, it is not a cookie cutter approach.
So yes, in this shunted sort of a conversation, I think I did manage to capture the essence – it is ultimately our job as parents to figure out how to reach our kids. And each of our kids are different – so different tactics need to be involved. I see it with my own – they are as similar as chalk and cheese.
Start young
Continuing with the above thought – our teen won’t suddenly be opening up to us, if we haven’t established the foundation of meaningful conversations early on. I have now intentionally started engaging my eight-year-old in more thoughtful conversations. Until now, most of our interactions felt like a one-way parent-to-child dynamic, but I can sense him maturing, ready for more meaningful exchanges. With my elder one too, it was around 8-9 years of age that I started developing a one-on-one relationship with him.
In my opinion, this is the only real way we’ll ever know what our kids are thinking and feeling—by building a relationship where open conversation is the norm, not the exception. There’s no realistic way to monitor every aspect of their lives, especially since now the external world is easily within their reach – with unknown often sinister influences. We can’t possibly keep track of every digital interaction, every conversation they have at school, or every influence they encounter outside the house.
What we can do is create a space where they feel safe enough to share, where talking to us isn’t just an obligation but something they actually want to do. If they trust that we’ll listen without judgment, they’re far more likely to come to us when it really matters—when they’re confused, when they’re struggling, or when they just need to be heard. But that trust isn’t built overnight; it starts early, in the small everyday conversations, long before the bigger challenges of adolescence come into play.
As parents, our role is to guide, listen, and support, even when the path seems unclear or the challenges overwhelming. The teenage years can be tough—for both parents and kids—but by fostering open communication, empathy, and trust, we can help our teens navigate this crucial stage of their lives with confidence and understanding. It’s not about having all the answers, but about being there when they need us the most. Keep the conversations going, and remember, you’re not alone on this journey.
This blog post is part of ‘Blogaberry Dazzle’
hosted by Cindy D’Silva and Noor Anand Chawla.
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Regards, Sakshi aka tripleamommy
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