Today we have a guest post from Shabana Parween, a development professional with expertise in CSR, public policy, and skill development. She has worked extensively with NGOs, government bodies, and corporates to drive impactful initiatives. Passionate about inclusiveness, she actively advocates for autism awareness and support parents of children with special needs. Through her entrepreneurial venture in educational toys, she strives to integrate learning and play for the holistic development of young children.
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Smita shared an incident that left her questioning the inclusivity of our society. She moved to Gurugram after her marriage with her husband, and together they have a 5-year-old boy named Sanchay. Life took a turn when, at the age of 2, Sanchay was diagnosed with red flags of autism. It was a moment of acceptance and frustration for Smita and her family, knowing their journey would now include continuous therapies and special care to help their son lead a comfortable and fulfilling life.
Therapies in Gurugram came with a hefty price tag of ₹800 per session. To manage these financial expenses, Smita’s husband took up a job in Qatar while she stayed back with Sanchay to ensure he got the care and exposure he needed. Doctors had advised her to take him to parks, malls, and other public places to help him understand social environments and learn in natural settings. While the task was challenging due to his behavioural and hyperactivity issues, Smita embraced it as a way to help her son grow.
Smita often took Sanchay to restaurants to teach him about dining places, different types of dishes etc. She also takes her to friends’ homes to help him understand the concept of guests, and to shops and malls to get him acquainted with crowds and noise. One such outing to a mall turned out to be more than what she had bargained for.
In a toy shop, Sanchay found a red car and began playing with it. A while later, he went to the washroom with Smita, but on returning, he couldn’t find the car. Restlessly, he wandered the shop in search of it and eventually saw another child holding the toy. Driven by impulse, he hurriedly tried to take the car back, causing the child to fall. As the younger boy began crying, his father and Smita rushed to comfort him. But soon, the child’s mother arrived and, upon hearing what had happened, directed her anger toward Sanchay.
“What’s wrong with you? Don’t you have any manners?” the woman scolded Sanchay. Smita, trying to calm the situation, apologized repeatedly and asked Sanchay to say sorry as well. But the lady’s anger only escalated, her tone becoming harsher. Sensing her frustration, Sanchay, who was perceptive of expressions, reacted by kicking her (he moved his leg towards her). He had developed this behaviour of kicking recently when he felt frustrated or angry in a situation.
The lady grew even angrier. “How can he behave like this?” she said, her frustration spilling over. Smita, finally said, “He is a special child. You should control your anger and ego. You are dealing with a 5-year-old who doesn’t know how to express himself properly. As a mother, you should understand the position of another mother. A slight push from a small boy shouldn’t make you this upset. I am apologising for his behaviour and you should understand the condition of the little boy.”
A few people gathered there to watch what is happening. One of the person from the crowd remarked you should not bring the mentally ill child to public places.
Smita felt helpless and heartbroken that day. She couldn’t understand how society could be so quick to judge. “How can we expect an inclusive society when even small moments like these become battles? How will special children and their parents find their place in such a world? When will people understand the autistic children are not mentally ill. They should live and enjoy the world just like others.” she wondered. (Identity has been changed in this story to maintain privacy)
This incident is not just a story about one mother and her child or only one incidence. It’s a reminder to all of us to pause before reacting, especially in public spaces. Parents of children with autism or other special needs face battles we may not see. Their days are filled with therapies, education, and constant efforts to prepare their children for a world that often fails to understand them. A moment of thoughtfulness or patience from us can go a long way.
If a neurotypical kid understands a lesson in 5 times, the neurodiverse kid might take more than 10 times. Every teaching, every learnings for the parents and educators is a struggle, they search for innovative ways to teach or and make learning easier.
As a society, we must work toward inclusivity—not just in policies or infrastructure but in everyday interactions. Empathy, kindness, and understanding should guide our actions. Let’s build a world where every child, special or not, feels welcomed and valued, and every parent feels supported and heard. An inclusive society what the neurodiverse kids and parents need. I can say its not their need, an inclusive society is a right for neurodiverse kids and their families.
This post is a part of “International Day of Persons with Disability” blog hop hosted by Sakshi Varma – Tripleamommy. #IDPD2024Bloghop. Access all posts of this bloghop at https://tripleamommy.com/2024/12/02/beyond-barriers-amplifying-voices-for-inclusion-marking-idpd-2024/
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Regards, Sakshi aka tripleamommy
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