My last post talked about the importance of being able to express one’s vulnerability. And in this post, I would like to explore the importance of vulnerability in leadership.
At a recent staff retreat, a very senior leader mentioned that when she took over her position, it was like she was drinking from a fire hose and how the initial days were overwhelming. What she said immediately resonated with me and some corner of mind heaved a sigh of relief. I am not alone!
Her statement had reminded me of the time I took on my current role – it involved new countries, new colleagues, new context and I remember feeling overwhelmed so many times. I felt inadequate. I felt like an imposter. Of course, over the years, I learnt, I got on top of things, but the feeling of those initial days never left me. And now, when this senior leader mentioned how she had felt, it somewhere validated those unresolved feelings from 5 years ago.
And I am sure, everyone including you has felt like that at some point of your life – uncertain, unsure, vulnerable. And it is okay. It is perfectly valid. It is human.
But people in leadership positions (never mind how big or small a team you lead) often feel that they cannot admit to these moments of ‘weakness’. That for their team, they need to continue to maintain the façade of being the perfect, strong, omniscient leader, otherwise they will not be considered a good leader. Leadership is often associated with strength, confidence, authority, decisiveness, assertion even perfection.
What they miss is that vulnerability does not diminish one’s strength but, in fact, can enhance authenticity, foster connection, and inspire others. Their openness contributes to a broader understanding of leadership that acknowledges the shared human experience of triumphs and challenges.
Changing paradigm of leadership
Being vulnerable was (and sometimes still is) considered undesirable, but thankfully the conversation around vulnerability and leadership has been changing in the last 10-15 years – largely due to Dr. Brene Brown’s work. (I didn’t even know about her body of work till I started researching for this blog post!) Dr. Brown is a bestselling author and research professor at the University of Houston whose 2010 TED Talk on vulnerability has been viewed more than 64 million times. Clearly the topic touched a chord somewhere. In her book, she states that vulnerability is not a weakness, but rather “our most accurate measurement of courage.”
An article in HBR from 2022, states that “In recent years, vulnerability in leaders has not just grown culturally acceptable, but in many cases, it’s welcomed and encouraged.” It appears that millennials and Gen Zers are more comfortable sharing their vulnerabilities. However, I feel that this may still only be applicable to pockets of developed countries and perhaps to a smaller extent in developing countries. Conversations around this need to increase.
Why vulnerability is a better style of leadership?
Vulnerability means more effective leadership. Dr. Brown’s research shows that leaders who are willing to be vulnerable and take risks are more likely to build trusting relationships, encourage innovation, and foster a culture of creativity and growth.
A leader who is open about themselves is able to build an environment of authenticity and makes it easy for their team to be honest with them – thus building a culture of trust and openness. It is only in psychologically safe environments that employees are able to share their innovative ideas freely, take creative risks, without fear of consequence. In contrast, a toxic workplace does not encourage camaraderie, leads to insecurity, one upmanship, gossiping and bickering which has a direct impact on creativity and knowledge sharing.
This article describes a vulnerable leader very well – “Being vulnerable as a leader involves a change in mindset that enables you to see through the eyes of the people you lead. By doing so, you invite them to become the drivers of the conversation. The result is that people become more involved and invested.”
How to create a culture of openness and honesty?
- Start with yourself: remember that you are a human, you can make mistakes, you need not know the solutions to all problems, you can struggle with a task, you may be having other personal issues – so on and so forth. You CANNOT be your 100% all of the time. Don’t expect too much from yourself, learn to admit these struggles and learn to delegate or ask for help.
- Build empathy – listen actively: Empathy will help you connect with your team in a better way. When you meet them – in team meetings or one-on-one, encourage them to open up to you. Ask them if everything is alright, if they are managing work and other things well. During COVID times, I had a very empathetic manager, who literally held my hand through some tough times. It felt like he cared. I remember once starting a one on one with him by saying, “I am very stressed.”
- Be open to learning and accept help: By accepting that you might not know everything, you make yourself open to learning from everyone – juniors, peers etc.
- Don’t condemn mistakes or failures: encourage team members to learn from their mistakes/ failures and do the same with yourself. Failures can become ground for innovation and creativity. Don’t expect perfection.
Learn from leaders around you
Many leaders are acknowledging the importance of vulnerability and imbibing it into their personal leadership styles. There is much to learn from their experiences and beliefs. Look around you and you might find them. I am sharing some examples here – both of global leaders and of those nearer home.
Microsoft CEO Satya Nadella has spoken openly about the personal impact of his son’s disabilities and how it has shaped his perspective on empathy and leadership. Nadella emphasizes the importance of understanding diverse perspectives and fostering an inclusive culture within the workplace.
Facebook COO Sheryl Sandberg has been vocal about the challenges she faced after the sudden loss of her husband. In her book “Option B,” co-authored with Adam Grant, she shares insights into grief, resilience, and the importance of vulnerability in navigating life’s difficulties.
The CEO of Tesla and SpaceX, Elon Musk, has openly discussed the challenges and pressures he faces in leading innovative companies. Musk has acknowledged moments of stress, pressure, and personal sacrifices, offering a glimpse into the vulnerabilities that come with being at the forefront of groundbreaking industries.
Philanthropist and co-chair of the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation, Melinda Gates, has spoken openly about her journey in philanthropy, motherhood, and marriage. In her book “The Moment of Lift,” she shares personal stories that highlight vulnerability and the lessons learned along the way.
C.P. Mohan, Chairman Satya Micro Housing Ltd, believes in taking time to understand personal circumstances of key team members. Often, he was able to redeploy persons from low performing to high performing roles just by understanding them better. There can be no better demonstration of this approach than when he turned around a defunct subsidiary of NABARD into an organisation of about INR600crores balance sheet in 4 years!
Mayank Midha, co-founder Garv Toilets, believes in providing complete freedom to his team. Once roles and responsibilities are defined, it does not matter whether someone works 4 hours or 10, from home or office as long as work is completed responsibly. Just like Mr. Mohan, Mayank also understands that everyone is going through one or another struggle and need the required space to balance personal and professional tasks.
Aditi Trivedy, Founder, Project Tawaqqo believes that a good leader is like a shepherd who does not drag their herd from the front but guides everyone from the back in the right direction. Being with her team gives her the opportunity to be vulnerable. “My vulnerability lets me admit my shortcomings about things I don’t have the right insights on, the mistakes I make and the challenges that we face. I am able to take a step back and let the right people take the right decisions when needed, hold myself accountable and respect my team’s opinions on solving obstacles together.” She believes that this has helped create a collective mindset of mutual respect, understanding and support.
Kapil Mathur, Founder Director, Aline Design says he has no shame in admitting if he does not know a particular skill set or a solution to a problem. In such situations he is happy to sit down with whoever is the expert, learn from them and then together apply those skills to resolve an issue or upgrade themselves. This helps the team in working together, with everyone pitching in with their skills and ideas.
Vulnerability has its own challenges
Keep in mind boundaries – there is a difference between sharing and oversharing. To quote the HBR article, “the workplace is not your own personal reality show. As with most things, boundaries and professional standards reign supreme.” A simple example being a leader mentioning they are having a tough day vs. going into all the details of their problem.
Do note that you might face resistance or even ridicule from those used to more traditional leadership styles. Overcoming the stigma associated with vulnerability in leadership requires time and consistent effort. As Mayank Midha says, “This leadership style has to be kept in check” – he noticed that people at times took advantage of the flexible leadership style and also felt at times that his team did not understand when he shared his personal experiences.
Ultimately a balance has to be maintained between transparency and opacity and an understanding of boundaries and purpose has to be kept in mind.
To Conclude
Leaders who have the courage to be vulnerable will eventually discover that it’s not a sign of weakness but a source of strength. It’s a powerful tool that forges genuine connections, inspires loyalty, and propels organizations toward success.
So, if you’ve ever wondered whether vulnerability has a place in leadership, the answer is a resounding “yes.” It’s time to explore this transformative quality and unlock the full potential of exceptional leadership.
Hope you enjoyed reading. Do share your thoughts on leadership as well.
_______________________________________________________________
This blog post is part of the blog challenge ‘Blogaberry Dazzle’ hosted by Cindy D’Silva and Noor Anand Chawla in collaboration with Bohemian Bibliophile.
Thanks for reading this post. Please like, comment and share!
Regards, Sakshi aka tripleamommy
You can find me at:
Blog: https://tripleamommy.com/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/tripleamommmy
Insta: https://www.instagram.com/tripleamommmy/
FB page: https://www.facebook.com/Tripleamommy-2101887313189940
Pinterest: https://in.pinterest.com/tripleamommmy/
Do consider buying my book “Raising Capable Children” that shares hundreds of tips and ideas on bringing up confident children. See below for buying options.
India – Amazon: https://amzn.to/3j3QSrx ; Flipkart: https://www.flipkart.com/raising-capable-children/p/itm2134c13e7108f?pid=9789390267033
For US and UK- https://www.amazon.com/dp/939026703X ; https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/939026703X